Why one eyebrow always comin out Gucci and the other eyebrow comin out Walmart

(via clindsaym)

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"Wow, what a butthole." - Either a compliment or an insult depending on the situation (via gnarly)

(Source: tehjeff, via tr0pical-youth)

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when u sneeze in front of your pet and they look like you’ve just offended their great ancestors


(Source: deaneggsandsam, via clindsaym)

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I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!

(via live-love-move-on)

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you know what constantly blew my mind as a child

in movies when a character is looking straight into their reflection in a mirror


how does the camera not show up in the mirror

actually never mind about the whole “as a child” business i still haven’t figured this shit out


(Source: sergeantjerkbarnes, via sammynicoleally)

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A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.

(via heart)

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I either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between

(Source: whitedad, via willyoutakemetonirvanaa)

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"But you, you’ve always been the rain, the wind, inside my mind. I taste you when I sleep, when I wake, when I breathe." - Nalini Singh, Archangel’s Kiss (via fables-of-the-reconstruction)

(via thunderbirdsinstead)

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"One day I just woke up and realized that I can’t touch yesterday. So why the heck was I letting it touch me?" - Steve Maraboli (via perfect)

(Source: psych-facts, via vanish)

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the dumbest thing is when parents say “this isnt how i raised you” like ?????? yes it really is you literally raised me and here i am

(via hate)

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